One of the things about putting yourself in a situation
Not to ‘perform’
Yet to just ‘be’
Is that you don’t really know how to just ‘be’
Its not something that you can autopilot
If you are truly looking at things objectively
So you begin to experience
Things in a different way
In real time
In the moment
And you sit with it
As I did this week
That the discomfort you are feeling
Is the result of
The experience you are seeking….
The feeling of anguish
That you will allow
to well up
from the depths from which you sunk it
Just as I did
Will bubble their way back up.
And the problem really is
That the hurt
Dont ‘match’ the surroundings.
They have been laying
deep within the psyche
hidden in obscurity
Hindering and challenging
disconnected, from the whole.
What wells up
Is the realisation
That you were really screwed over
Thrown seriously under the bus
and you were not
in the moment of the experience
capable of clarity.
Just as I wasn’t.
Though the feelings present
Disconnected from the current reality
Yet they – these feelings
They come up with a bang
And can only be looked at
with objective clarity
that this present moment
I say ‘may’ because if you are not ready
or not in the state of readiness
You think you are just bat shit crazy
You feel hurt
however you also berate yourself
for being ‘irrational’.
The cause and effect are timed inconsistently
Which appears irrational
due to the lack of congruency.
Yet allow those feelings to be heard
ignore them at your own peril
yet ABSOLUTELY track back
and match the effect to the cause.
Recognise people as accountable for their actions
The moments that you were not clear as I was not
and took on others bad behaviours
DO NOT hold people accountable for your REACTIONS.
There is the key
The key is in the hurt
You own the REACTION
The way the ‘EFFECT’ played out
and continues to play out.
Then revel in your perfection
dont HOLD people accountable
Let them hold that burden
YOU have worn it for far too long
How do I know ?
because the key is in the hurt.
No hurt once let go.
Don’t HOLD anyones burden for them
Own your moments