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These days list building is the thing to do

According to every business builder group out there touting for your business

In the old days

(Yes I did say ‘old’ days)

You referred business because it was a recognition of personal contact that provided some professional connection to a good or service provider

Yes – the word Provider comes in

I spend many hours ‘unsubscribing’ from mailing lists I have been put on

Because a ‘colleague’ has given mine and about 10 of my other colleagues, email or mobile details

The frustrating thing is that it could be such an amazing connection

The FRUSTRATION is that in the OLD days not only were you given a referral source, you were also told about it because the colleague doing the referring was PROUD or EXCITED to refer you to someone

It would appear we have lost that side of things

We have lost the professional courtesy

We refer because the service we are referring you to is professional, and the service soothed our pain point, provided – yes PROVIDED a service that we believed made something in your lives easier or better

I am part of an Entrepreneurs Alliance. I have been for a while. I interviewed them as well as they interviewed me when we decided to go on a journey together.

I have changed dramatically the way I do things and they have bumped along the journey with me. They were recommended and I did my homework.

Its a process

Must go – off to unsubscribe and delete SMS’s as one of my ‘colleagues’ went to a business seminar and we all got marketing email

Not because the fit would be good

I am sure her name popped up on their radar as a potentially good referral source

I hope she does her homework and it is an amazing fit for her going forward

And I don’t keep getting put back on ‘the list’


When life throws you Lemons – MAKE LEMONADE

When life throws you Lemons – MAKE LEMONADE.

When life throws you Lemons – MAKE LEMONADE

When life throws you lemons make lemonade


There are a few things that are decidedly true

And you know it is right

Not just me yet for you

When the calling gets loud

And the whispers subside

Understand it’s your inner voice speaking with pride

Unless you text over it

Unless you call out over it

Unless you realize its truth

And are afraid to share

Let it shine

That shines forth

With the truth that you know

Understand the joy within

Let it show


Understand that inner voice

With its glory and contempt

For stupidity and annoyance

Let it shine

Bring it forth

Understand that your light

Can be brighter then you know

Because you DO know – that is true

Yet the knowing is unsaid

It is unheard

It if unfound in many not just you

Be brave

Let you heart shine

It is beautiful

It is YOU


Original work

Nicole McHenry


lemonaid on the beach


Check your lens

When things look bad

When things don’t seem right

Check your lens

Is it yours

Or what you think should be

Either way you will be right

Check your lens before you check your sight

If you look through rose coloured glasses you get abstract reality

If you look through a looong lens all the things may seem sooooooo far away from you

Check your lens

Is it yours ?

If its not

Change it –

It is easy to do

Close your eyes

bring your awareness to between your brows in your minds eye

take 3 deep breaths


See the beauty

Your lens is ‘clair’

eye chart

On Venting…

There are times when we just want to vent

And thats OK

If we VENT

and don’t spread to garner support in a bad way

In a BAD way you ask ?

Well consider this

Vent is about letting off a little steam, enough to take off the pressure to make sure everything simmers along nicely and the end result is nourishing

Sooo….Try an ‘experiment’ if you will…

One I used to get my students to test out when they were learning about emotional intelligence…

Post something on Facebook or other social media complaining about something

Try say, the way you were treated in a shop

How you didn’t get the service you felt you deserved

and WATCH…

Watch in HORROR

Your vent – your release of a bit of pent up steam

That subsided pretty quickly no doubt


and becomes everyones personal VENT

Your vent gives permission for others !

Thats not truly a problem….

However your vent was not about giving others permission

Nor was it about being patted on the shoulder for ‘outing bad stuff’ that others should know to succeed in life

You are only responsible for your own lives

You are however responsible for your words

You however unintentionally, may have started a tsunami !


preface your vent knowing what you now know

Or become the experiment and watch the poop fly

Venting is about finding an outlet to let off a little steam to assist you to get on in balance

Is that what you will achieve ?

Meditation may be safer !


well done !

When we hear the words well done…we know that others are proud of our achievements

At least I choose to prefer to see the communication that way

And here is the clincher

I have no interest in the motivation that it came from if it was said in any other way than with pride and good wishes

I choose to hear the words

And I choose to receive the words

And I choose to embrace the words

In a positive way

Which is THE KEY

Receive everything from its higher good

Receive it as you would mean it to have come to you

What others’ motivations is none of your business if they are not from the place of genuine higher love and healing

You have such power for your own receiving

Unless you are interested to stay in that lower level energy

And you HAVE the choice

Seeing everything in a positive way is absolutely fine

And empowering

And seriously…..why wouldn’t you ?

Unless you feel like wasting a day or a week or just a moment wallowing in lower motivation

Stay in your highest good

Take everything in a positive way




And be HAPPY !

Now THAT is well done !


time wasters…why do we get so angry ?

It seems to be the old adage – don’t waste my time !

The concept of selling something

‘no time wasters please’

It is as if we are stating from the outset that we are absolutely serious

We are not negotiable unless you are serious

We are valuing our time over your use of it

We get REALLY angry about it

I used to think it was an arrogance – I remember Dr Phil saying something on one of his first Oprah shows…

Then with my spiritual awareness

Time is Love I was taught

How so ?

Because you give the time to whats important

And whats important is about what you value to be true

So we talk about ‘not having time’

Exchange the word LOVE for time and see how it feels

I spent the afternoon trekking across the country to get to a destination where I was greeted with

‘I know nothing about this – you know what kids are like’

It was the awareness of the time I felt I had wasted

I had spent it with my daughter

In search of something we needed

And in reality, had chatted and giggled alot

However as I battled peak hour traffic home, I lamented the time I will lose because of the delay

I had made plans

I had made choices to compromise and forego to get to a certain end

That choice being taken

I was now without my goods and not able to get back that time

As I cooked dinner into the early evening

I realised that time is love

I felt like my time had been frivolously spent because of no end result

So in reality, theres no point getting angry

My time was spent

Getting angry about it spends more time and expends the WRONG kind of energy

SO let it go and waste no more time

Because I am in control of my time now

So now off to eat dinner and spent time with the family

And enjoy the love in the room

hearts background b & w

He who dies with the most points…. still dies…

I have watched it time and time again

I have experienced it time and time again

I have friends who ask me – WHY ?

I have learned a few things along the way and if you indulge me, I will share it with you…

As parents we want the best for our children for the most part

We want more for them then we had in most cases as well

There is NOTHING wrong with that

Some parents forget that the kids play the sport – not them

They forget that they are the support – not the player

And they role model competitive and cut throat behaviour relentlessly

I am fortunate to have kids that are good at sport, yet they already know that being a good athlete means you are open to adults behaving badly towards them

They have experienced parents being thrown off club grounds for taking on a child who they feels has wronged theirs

Yes, an adult trying to intimidate someone else’s 8 year old child on a race track. Disgusting.

The kids they compete against will be competitive – and they will learn life lessons about how to manage themselves when they get older.

With this day and age of social media, the messages, blocking etc is just an extended version of the bullying that has always been around

I also know that most people won’t front the problem parents because they bring trouble on themselves

And do you know why they won’t front them ?

BECAUSE these parents know that they are the support – not the player

They pick their support and lesson teaching in an active not reactive way

Sporting clubs are usually full of volunteers

I have been a volunteer many times myself

They do their best in most cases to manage the crap – they can’t always fix the crap

So when I am told I have to ‘sort things out’ – well actually I don’t – and thats the advice I gave my gorgeous friend

You have to keep your mouth shut and don’t bite…


Because the reason you – the parent  – not the player – who feels like you are being sucked into a situation when you behaved well, is being goaded into reacting, is ultimately because your integrity is not something that the bullies can deal with

They know slanging matches

They know bad behaviour

They don’t know integrity

They don’t know how to deal with your ‘not playing’

And yes – they will win. They will. Yet they will win a game of noise, a game of yuk – yet they will win a game that you didn’t play.

Understand they will play it anyway

You just happen to be todays target. Its not special, its just available

Do you think a spider sits there and watches flies and says yep, nup, maybe, yep – you’ll do…

Nobody will take them on

However they will have to work twice as hard to perpetuate the crap because they are doing it all on their own, without any fodder from you to work from

Now do you understand the power in not playing ?

Make them do the work

It WILL dissipate quicker that way

There is always someone ready to believe bad things – its not personal – they are ready to believe bad things about ANYONE

Might as well be you for now

At least your compassion and love may filter through to them in some way

Let THAT be your blessing to them and not your curse

Maybe thats why you were ‘chosen’ because you are the only one who won’t snap them when they open their mouth, and your compassion and love is what they will take from the experience

Did I mention that if this IS the case, lucky you aren’t after a thank you. You need to be thankful inside that you learned the lesson that they haven’t…that he who dies with the most points – still dies…….

Trust me – nobody REALLY covets the rotten apple….

rotten apple

It’s OK that you don’t get it – I just wish you did…

I have a few friends that I adore and like everyone, I hate it when they are hurt by others small mindedness and bad behaviour

I choose these words carefully because words have power

They have power because they are spewed out with intent which can be, in the moment, fairly foul.

And there are 2 points here

One – that when the dust settles and everything goes back to ‘normal’ for the badly behaved, the words were already spewed, with sour intent, intent to hurt – not heal.

The hours of chewing ‘mean’ energy comes from a person.

A person – as we all are, in reality, a good soul who can’t see how beautiful they are.

The mindedness is small because it won’t expand beyond the ‘mean’ to encompass and allow compassion to flow in and around them

The behaviour is the result of not connecting with the beauty inside, rather connecting to an experience where they were/felt wronged.

They are connecting to their PAST. Not their present or their future.

The irony ? they want to be RIGHT for their future – by using past hurts and wounds to cripple instead of grow from

This is in reality, a revenge session where they were/felt wronged by others and ‘ARE NOT GOING TO LOSE THIS TIME !’

By now you are probably seeing faces of people that this may relate to

The hurter and the hurt

The healer and the healed.


I spend much of my life sitting with people who hold guilt in their hearts and bodies, and come to me, the medium, for the conversation they wish they had


They ignored, brushed off, PUNISHED others

And they come to me because they want to say sorry

And be forgiven

And some want to defend their position STILL

That connection…

May be CATHARTIC, yet it’s not the same.

The person you hurt with your ignorant behaviour who passed away with all that you said, unsaid – THEY GET IT NOW

DONT wait until they pass to wish you had spoken

DONT burn people thinking you are CLEVER being rude and ignoring your family


I am a medium – not a miracle worker

The spirit world are the miracle workers

They are also the GUEST performer

They may OR MAY NOT turn up at your reading.

If you think you are so clever being mean to others because you feel you can, knock yourself out.

Wait till you pass and YOU GET IT

Or get it now, for all that you are, all that you can be, and for heavens sake, everyone else who is lucky – yes lucky – to have you in their lives.

Imagine that ?

Imagine that people are lucky to have you in their lives

They are you know…..

You just need to honour that

I am not perfect, however my experience is sitting with relatives in tears, frozen.



Make today count

Forget the Karma, the bad Juju

Recognise the paralysis that WILL exist if you have not purged that stubborn meanness

You WILL NOT be OK when they go to their grave


You will be alive

You will function

You WILL always hold in your subconscious a snippet

Everything you say,

Everything you have said

Sits within your energy field

Forget Judgement Day

Live NOW

ships bell

Success as a measure

How do you measure success ?

Is it stuff,


And what does credibility amount to

We know what stuff looks like

However what does integrity and contribution look like ?

Success is measured along the way as well as in the ‘end’

It is what ‘we’ use – as a word

To describe what we find to be our sense of achievement

And therein is the key

We consider success a state of being

When we have achieved

And we achieve gradually, instantly and with different things for ourselves

Success is different in the eyes of others

and if we remember that our achievements may be public

and involve others

however are very very personal

We realise Success is something we feel at the point where we have achieved

And what we have achieved is in some way about contribution

Not necessarily to others

to stuff

yet to what we wanted to contribute to the world, our world, the world of others

And that is always worthy

And will only feel less then worthy – if we measure our success through others

How so ?

Even if we feel we have succeeded in excess of others

There is already a conversation of lack or loss

Even though we talk about others have less or lacking

The word is there in our vocabulary

There is not 100% positivity in the situation

And you plant the seed in the reality that there may be elements of lack

Thats was someone else’s problem – this time

The pressure is on

The potential is now there

UNLESS you measure success by your own achievements and contribution

And use THAT – your PASSION – to drive you to your best contribution

If you do that,

Success won’t be so scarey

And it will always be OK – for you

THE most important particle in this universe

hearts background b & w

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